Why is it so hard for me to just et go and move on? I know I need to. I know God wants me to and I want to do His will…. So why am I so stuck on this?!
There’s a Mumford and Son’s song lyrics that says: and there will come a time you’ll see with no more tears and love will not break your heart but dismiss your fears get OVER your HILL and see what you find there with grace in your heart and flowers in you hair.
This has ben in my head nonstop for the last month pretty much! Why can’t I get over this hill and onto bigger and better things?! No one ever told me it would be this tough… and no one wants to stop and carry me along the way. I am relying completely on God. Screw people… they always leave. But God never will….
If I go on a photo spree of my past life… (not like reincarnation… but like my old life that now is no more…) I’m re uploading ALL of my old pictures and just watching as they flash onto the screen and just as quickly flash off….It explains my relationships with those people down to the enth degree…. which is sad.
I made the ultimatum that I needed to make a long time ago…. So far no response… I was doing GREAT…. until I was uploading really old pictures and started looking through them… Why did things have to change so drastically? When did it become ok to pick and choose when you should trust people or turn them away? Why couldn’t we all be trustworthy and loving? But I guess if we were perfect then we wouldn’t be human.
I have been SUPER busy with so many things. First of all we just finished SALT week so I was in NOLA all week. Then there’s homework…. plus I just turned my computer into apple to get fixed and now NONE of my stuff is set right or even on it so I have to take everything off my external hard drive and put it in the right places on my laptop…. so sorry that I haven’t been around and that I probably won’t be around for a bit.
So this past week I was down in New Orleans, specifically the French Quarter, on a mission trip. The way I saw God move through me and through ever one there was completely amazing. I found inspiration in every single person there. I wish I could tell you all about it, but it is kind of like going to the moon. You want to tell so many people about it but only the ones who went with you can understand. I only pray that I don’t crash and burn from this spiritual high that I have gotten. I hope I have had enough decompression time and that I can continue to do God’s work here in Dallas. I continue to pray for everyone that we met down there and even the people that we didn’t meet. It was sickening to see how much help they STILL need and how much help they AREN’T getting. A part of my heart will always be in New Orleans. You all will always be on my heart.
Wow. Where do I begin? My life didn’t start till you showed up. You are litterally my everything. I am sorry for not being the greatest girlfriend. I am sorry for wishing you would do more stuff to be nice and surprise me and show me you love me when I already know you do. I’m sorry for taking you for granted. I haven’t been the best girlfriend…I promise to try harder. I am so blessed to have you in my life. I can’t wait to grow old with you and start a family. Every day I wish you would be by my side. And when you are I wish I could never let you go. I’m sorry that I get mad at the little things. I make a huge deal out of virtually nothing and I would give anything to take those fights back and turn them into amazing nights. I hope you never leave me. When everyone else walked out of my life and was ashamed to have me for a friend. You stood tall and proud and stayed. You didn’t care what people said about us. You hurt when I hurt and you got angry at those who made me cry. When I told you about my life and my family you didn’t judge. You held me and wished that you could take my pain away. You are amazing. Thank you. I love you with all my heart. :)
I guess I will never be good enough for wither of y'all.
I REALLY don’t know what I did and I would really appreciate it if y’all would grow up and just give me a second chance. But I can see that there is nothing I can do to change your minds… Whatever I did I’m sorry. I wish I could make y’all understand that. But if this is how y’all want it then ok. Just as long as y’all are happy. But I will be here. ok? I want to be a true friend. Even if y’all won’t let me.
To hold someone’s hand is to offer them affection, protection or comfort. Holding hands remains a sign of intimacy between friends and lovers, couples and family, keeping two people together as they navigate the world around them. It as powerful a gesture today as it was two hundred years ago. Personally, I hope it never goes out of style.
MY whole life came to a screeching halt because of one rumor. Last year someone started spreading around the school that I was in love with my best friend’s boyfriend and I was trying to break them up. First of all this made no sense because I had Tim back then and I was and am DEEPLY and PASSIONATELY in love with TIM…not jr….but anyways because of this stupid little rumor that was COMPLETELY false….my two best friends walked out of my life…and now I can’t get them back….rumors are powerful and even if you think you are just making up something funny about someone it can end up hurting them in ways you NEVER would have thought possible…if someone tells you a rumor and you find yourself telling someone else about it…stop…because spreading rumors is JUST as bad as starting them….
For some reason no matter how bad the rumor (and trust me there are some pretty bad ones that have been said about me) people always seem to believe them….and I have no idea why…